The Marauders go Shopping
by Angela Gray
Summary: The title says it all. The marauders go to a muggle shopping center.. PG for mild violence... kinda.


Adventures in the Shopping Center 

"**Are you sure this is the way in?' Sirius asked. **

**James shrugged. "No idea, but these muggles would never notice." **

**He glanced at his reflection in a Shopping Super Center mirror. "Is my beanie on straight?"**

**Sirius and Remus could hardly keep from laughing at the sight of James Potter in a beanie. All the marauders were in muggle clothes, but considering the fact most of them had picked out their styles from the first muggle magazine Sirius saw(which happened to be 'The Styles of Yesterday') they looked rather odd compared to the normal people browsing through the store. Either way, they had a mission. To do a project on the wonders of muggle shopping. **

"**We should split up, to cover as much ground as possible." James decided. **

"**Are you sure that's a good idea-"**

"**Of course, Remus!" James said haughtily. "We'll go in groups of two. You and Wormtail, Padfoot and me."**

**Remus shrugged.**

"**We'll take the these first five aisles, you take the five on the left."**

**Peter whimpered as a lady rushed by with a squeaky shopping cart.**

"**Well, let's go. I'm meeting someone later today,"Sirius said briskly. **

"**Fine," James said as he and Sirius walked on towards the movie isle.**

"**We'll meet back here in twenty minutes!"**

**Remus sighed. **

"**Where do we go now?" Peter asked nervously.**

"**Dunno. That aisle over there, I guess." Remus said, peering into the crowd. "Hmm. That lady over there has your dress, Wormtail."**

**Wormtail ventured into the toy isle behind Remus. "Remus?"**

"**Huh?" Remus was busy inspecting a plastic figure of a snarling wolf.**

"**Where are we?" **

"**The toy aisle, I guess." **

**He set the figure back on the shelf and continued on to a large stuffed clown. "We had better go on to the next isle. We don't have much time."**

**Peter hurried out of the aisle but he wasn't fast enough. A beautiful young woman cut him off. Peter trembled in fear as her mouth opened.**

"**May I help you?" **

**Peter froze. "I d-don't know.."**

**The blonde saleslady smirked. "Can I help you find anything?"**

"**N-no-" Wormtail stuttered.**

"**Are you lost?"**

**Wormtail looked down. "Ihavetogonow-"**

**The salesgirl laughed as Wormtail ran from the aisle and straight into Remus.**

"**Where were you?" Remus looked at Peter's red face curiously.**

**Peter shrugged, and walked into the next aisle. Presently, he noticed an open bag of round candies.....**

**In the next aisle, Remus had found a book. A book titled 'Werewolves, Vampires, and Witches: Fact or Fiction?'. He looked around. No sign of Peter...he began to flip through the pages.**

"**Hello." **

**Remus flipped around. There was a girl there. She looked around 15 or 16. Her hair was a long, incredibly fake-looking black and white wig. She wore the traditional Halloween witch costume, complete with a pointed hat. She gestured at the book.**

"**Are you interested in that sort of thing?"**

**Remus closed the book. "Uh-"**

"**My name is Morbida. I'm a real live witch, you know.."**

**James and Sirius strolled through the movie aisle. **

"**Come on, Prongs...I'm in a hurry." Sirius turned the corner into the next isle.**

**James, however, had found something interesting. Something like a box with pictures inside it, and a cable that snaked out from it into a smaller gadget, which a boy was using to control the figures on the screen. James Potter stared in wonder, entranced by the video game. He nudged the boy who was playing. "Hey...could I try that?"**

**Meanwhile, Sirius hadn't noticed James was gone. He had found something interesting, too. It was something like a bike.. but different.**

**Sirius gripped the scooter's handlebars. He pushed off.....**

**Peter's hands were purple. His mouth was stained blue and red as he stuffed jawbreakers into his mouth. He had been eating for about fifteen minutes. He wondered vaguely where Remus had gone.. and what had ever happened to that saleslady-**

"**Hey! You can't eat those!" Wormtail looked up and squealed.**

**The salesgirl ran towards him. "Stop it- ACK!"**

**She screamed as she slipped on Peter's candy, and landed on her rear in a multicolored puddle. "Come back here!" She screeched, as Wormtail took his chance and ran towards the book aisle.**

"**I'm one-hundred years old today. I can't wait till I can leave this place. It tires me. People are so oblivious to my talents-"Morbida droned on.**

**Remus looked at her blankly. She was no witch, she was a full-fledged maniac. "Er.. I actually have to go now-"**

"**Wait, I haven't told you about how I defeated Mezlerquoglin, the evil sorcerer, and don't you want to see my salamander-tongue talisman-"**

**Remus backed away. "N-no! No! Uh... I mean.. I really have to go now.."**

**Morbida pouted. She shuffled toward him and grabbed the sides of his jacket. "But.. Don't you want to.. get to know me?" She purred.**

"**Uhh.."**

**Morbida leaned closer. Her hands fluttered to her shirt buttons as she kissed Remus's face. "I- AHH!"**

**She was cut off by Peter smacking into her. "RUN!" He squealed.**

"**Who is this?" Morbida clutched at her open front as Remus took off.**

"**Remus! Come back here!"**

**Peter looked back at Morbida chasing after them, with a rainbow-colored sales lady not far behind.**

"**Who is that?" He puffed.**

"**Just-just somebody." Remus panted. "Let's just find James and Sirius and get out of here.."**

**James pressed buttons with lightning speed. He dodged fireballs and falling bombs. He was on the last level of the game, and he was winning. Unfortunately, he didn't see the bubbling lava pit. "NO!" He raged.**

"**How could I have missed that, how-"He threw the controls down and stormed up and down the aisle in frustration. "ARGHHH-"**

**There was a loud boom as the TV fell from the shelf and crashed onto the floor. James blinked. Shoppers turned to look at him.**

"**Oy, you!" a crowd of salespeople gathered around the television.**

**James looked around innocently.**

"**You- "An angry clerk ran to him, hands outstretched. "I'm going to KILL YOU-"The clerk pounced on James, and commenced in expressing his anger, just as the therapist had recommended. **

James was in pieces when he finally squeezed from the clerk's grasp. "James!" Remus ran out from behind a shelf. "What-" "We have to run! There's a crowd of angry salespeople after me-" 

"**Really? We're being chased by an insane muggle and a salesgirl covered in candy!"**

"**Where's Sirius?"**

**James stopped. "We have to find him before we get murdered-"**

**There was a crash from the next aisle. **

"**Oh no..."**

**Sirius's scooter was out of control. It was harder to control than he had thought. Everything had gone well, until those blasted muggles had come after him for knocking over one little shelf.. admittedly, it had been a shelf of breakable jars.. full of pickles.. But still, it wasn't worth such a fuss-**

"**Sirius!"**

**He flipped around. "James? What-"**

**Remus ran past him. "Just run, we'll explain later!"**

**Sirius looked back at the growing crowd of angry shoppers behind them. He dropped the scooter and passed Remus.**

"**What did you-"**

"**What did YOU do?" James panted. "and what was that thing-"**

"**So I knocked over a few shelves-"**

"**You wha-"**

**Peter squealed as he dodged a flying crowbar.**

**James pushed Remus out of the way of a broomstick, and scrambled toward the automatic doors.**

"**We're free!" Sirius laughed as he jumped behind a garbage can.**

**James sat down. He looked around at his friends. "Soo.. How do we explain this one?"**

**Sirius shook his head. "Ah, Prongs... we'll worry about that later,"**

"**Later?"**

"**Yeah- after we go into another muggle-mart and buy me one of those scooters!"**

**Remus rolled his eyes. "Seriously.." **

**James smirked. "Ever think of learning to drive one first?"**

"**You should talk, what was-"Sirius stopped. "Uh, why is Wormtail purple?"**

"**Why are you covered in pickle relish?!"**

"**Why does James look like he was stuffed into a blender?"**

**Suddenly, the marauders noticed the biggest mystery of all:**

"**Why is Moony's face covered in red lipstick?!"**

**Remus blinked. Slowly, he wiped a smudge off his cheek.**

**He sighed. Somehow, he just knew their report would defiantly be the most interesting in class....**


End file.
